Daily rants of a cow

In my loneliness I suffer and in my loneliness I whisper to myself your name, which means the world to me.

In my loneliness I suffer and in my loneliness I sit alone and think of ways to make you feel my undying love.

In my loneliness I suffer and in my loneliness I am alert to hear your hand on the door handle.

In my loneliness I suffer and in my loneliness I am ready to spill my heart and share my warmth.

In my loneliness I suffer and since the day we met this vast distance betweens us stays.

In my loneliness I suffer and now I ask please for tender hug and tender kiss and best of all not to be dismissed.

So strong I feel that my heart cries. So strong I feel that my soul whimpers.

here's to you the man
who gave a lot and never took,
here's to you the man
who stands ignored and never looked,

here's to you the man
whose heart cries out in silent tears,
here's to you the man
whose dreams would fall onto deaf ears

here's to you the man
who craves for human touch,
here's to you the man
the child that never grew

here's to you the man
i love, i care and honour,
here's to you the man
whose love i'd like to cherish

We ll sit facing each other,
Palms touching lightly,
Talking in whispers,
If I close my eyes - I'll still see you,
If I move away - I'll still feel you,
If you stop talking - I'll still hear you,
Sweet memory so fresh and clear,
Dispell the shadows of my mind,
We meet half way across this space,
Presence lingering in still air,
The smell of heaven on our skin,
We ll sit facing each other,
Palms touching lightly,
Talking in whispers,
If I close my eyes - I'll still see you,
If I move away - I'll still feel you,
If you stop talking - I'll still hear you.
Sweet memory so fresh and clear.

In the shadows I now stand,
I cast myself away,
Hidden and away I stay,
Not to summon your contempt

In the shadows I now stand,
Fighting a fight against myself,
To hush myself and silence keep
Not to summon your contempt

In the shadows I now stand,
Tears hidden carefully away,
Hidden and away I stay,
Not to summon your contempt

I've always found it strange how therapeutic I find it to make random money calculations, budgets and print out plans, maps and scribble on my diary...

Everyone has his/her own ways I suppose to deal with stuff when things look easy for some and extremely hard for others.

Life is funny really and we make decisions for everything that change our lives as we go along. Take for example deciding what to eat of if to eat at all.

how different would life be if you take decisions even the very simplest and slightest change could change everything

one thing i know for sure...its best never to regret a decision because whatever you do, you can never be fully undone

There are days were all I think about is alienating my mind to grasp to the last of my will power, where hope is the tiny thread I hold on to, to avoid ending.

I feel like I'm running a marathon with no end and everytime I stumble I get trampled instead of helped to get back on my feet. Yet I realise I'm so lucky I have enough to eat and drink and enough to spend on silly stuff and my whimpering is an insult to those less fortunate.

I'm trying to find something to keep me busy and my mind off things.