here's the words locked in my heart,
if you looked at me you'd see,
i struggle alone in the dark,
because your words so sharp like knives,
have slain my heart a million times,
and through the pain,
i miss you mostly for,
your enthusiasm for life,
your charm and warmth.
i miss our late night chats
and friendly pokes,
i miss our sharing of wonderful plans
and crazy ideas,
Between us now a canyon
great divides
i struggle alone to cross
this bridge full of a million thorns,
just for a tiny smile,
i wish i could read you mind,
wonder around it and explore
maybe to understand what's going on,
life is so unfair
full of dilemmas and angry days
perseverance so hard to chase,
i've become afraid to speak,
show emotion, cry or laugh
i live in fear that my every move
will call on wrath
the cold answer and harsh words
i shall never ask for hug or kiss,
i shall never ask for anything again.
you say sorry but its empty words,
i'm punished for committing no crime,
the past adventures all gone away,
for every word nor silence reigns,
no place for me left in your empty life,
you are the biggest challenge i ever met,
with others kind and giving,
with me horrid and forbidding
cold as winter i am inside,
all i wanted was some of your time,
i gave all my soul to make this work,
i'll fight for it through night and day,
top of my list you always were,
whether you're sick or in good health,
i feel like i've lost all my strenght,
i feel left out, forgotten amidst the clutter,
i've been slayed, belittled, insulted and rejected,
and yet i've never bit back
the hurt absorbed and carefully packed
i've been sick and left alone,
not even a text to check how i am,
you used to text me to make sure i turn up,
now you send me away
whatever i say won't change a thing
you turn you back and go away.